a step forward and a step back, now were dancing!!

I've been fighting for some time the feeling that I need to be doing ministry at my church. i guess in my mind i'm seeing where i want to be in 10 years and God has been trying to get me to take the step for this year. Why do we sometimes see the things that God wants to do as steps backwards, when we know we cannot see the whole picture. My Church has recently started a ministry equipping program.  I have admitted that I was believing a lie and being prideful by thinking that I do not need anymore training. I have been in ministry since I was a very young girl and also have a degree from Bible college. I was buying into a lie. We are never truly done. God is constantly growing and teaching us things. Isn't one day in life just training for the next? I feel like this a huge step of faith for me. If I do this at Church my work schedule will have to change and I will have to find a way to pay for it. I have been wanting to go back to school. I actually love being a class, and doing homework. I love writing papers, and scouring books. I asked my Bible Study to pray for me tonight. I feel so lost in this world. I truly do feel like an alien to the world.I am believing this is what I should be moving towards. I spoke with my cousin the other day and God confirmed this in several ways. This is kind of a catch all post...I just needed to verbalize some of this to sort it out. I've also been missing dance so much lately its killing me inside. i don't know why it's not a part of my life right now. My friends got to talking about dancing tonight and it was like a knife twisting in my heart. All I want my life to be is ministry, dance, art and the people I love!