Equador and Katie Davis

So I got back from equador several weeks ago and I find myself still processing it. I havent been overseas in years and God is still breaking it more and more. I love that God broke my heart for a people that i've honestly never thought about before.
My heart in head are in a battle now. I loved equador. I loved the people that I met. I loved anita (a woman in the villiage). and I love that more than longing to go to Equador agian, I long to see her family agian.
But, my heart has been in africa for as long as I can remember (except for that time when I was 13 and I decided GOd was calling me to be a youth pastors wife lol) I know that I will call it home agian one more time.
The door for africa seems so closed for me right now and Equador seems so open. I Can very easily picture my life in Equador and loving every second of it.

 I read some of Katie Davis' blog today and since I was crying in front of lots of people I decided to hold it off for later :) It hurts to see someone living the life that i have pictutred. In the past several years God has laid addoption so heavy on my heart.
Why can't I feel the peace of His timing now? 
Honestly...I just want to go where He calls me. I Just want to be in the very center of His will for my life. But not knowing whats around ....

Ek is die huis ontbreekt

I have been thinking alot lately...I know that God is callng me to Africa, and i know His word says not to worry about what "you will eat or drink, or what you will wear"....I am saving for a ticket. I don't know exactly when i will go or what i will do when I get there. I can't take not being where i am supposed to be a second longer. Sunday we were disscusing how to "Anxiously awate His return" and what that really looks like. My answers was simple: Just do what God is calling you to". Do you ever say something and then immediately you are convicted by your own answer!? I knew that was the Holy Spirit speaking because I do not like to be convicted and would not have done it to myself.lol

Thousandth Wind

I am constantly in awe of God's timing and planning. While I still feel infinitely far away from where I want my life to be I can almost feel his authorship in a tangible way. From my past posts it may be obvious but God has really been laying Muslims on my heart in an intense way. I do not feel at home in American culture even a little bit and the culture of Muslim countries is in an odd way very appealing to me. But, even more than that I think my rebel heart longs to love the culture that many of the Church's members rally to hate. I say all of that to attest to God's providence. He has placed in my life someone who is drawn to those same things in the same way. I honestly believe that God is setting my life up for what He has for me one day. I don't know how else to describe it but that I feel His authorship in my life. In the Past month it seems that everyone in my life has caught the fire of missions. My roommate and best friend are desiring in  new way to have a hand in missions and want their summer vacations to be missions trips. My parents and family are planning on doing mission trip this summer as well. It feels as though God is readying everything around me.
This hippi chick has decided to sell out to the man and work a corporate job for a year maybe slightly more and pay off all my debts and get myself in a position to drop it all and go. There are so many opportunities for internships with great organizations that I could not take right now. Pray with me for a job that will help me in this.