I've been second guessing the choice that 13th floor is where I'm being called to specifically in ministry. I have my application in but have really been dragging my feet getting everything else to them. I have reconnected with really good friends since being back in Missouri and know that those people are good for my life. Its hard to walk away from all that. I know that i will make amazing friends while I'm on team and that the friends I don't want to leave will be always be my friends no matter where I live. I've been hearing from everyone that this is not what I am suppose to do. My dad sends me emails regularly giving me new reasons not to go. I think the thing that is making me question it the most is my cousin recently told me she thinks maybe I should wait. I know that she is going to tell me what she thinks unbiased. She was so excited when I told her that i was quitting my job and moving back into full time missions before.
I also was very hurt by a friend on team this month. They really turned their back on me when I needed a friend, and I really don't want to see that person every single day. I know that God is going to do what he wants there, but I am starting to wonder if God has been trying to tell me "no" and I haven't been listening. Is He trying to get my attention? I thought so clearly that God has been calling me back to 13th floor, but maybe He is just calling me back to ministry. I need to pray about this so much, I don't want to miss out on what God has for my life. I also don't want to go all the way around the world to realize that God was calling me to something in St. Louis. For those of you that read my blog please be praying with me about this decision.
No comments:
Post a Comment